Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Over the years I have come to realise one thing. Only I can control my attitude. It is how I choose to react to a situation that makes the difference. The courage to continue comes from our attitude. In today’s world, e are bombarded by bad news, we should not ignore it but rather look for the opportunity and stay positively focused on what we control.
Here are a few things that I have found work for me and a few that work for others.
Cultivate and live in a positive environment.
Who you choose to spend your time with and the input you get from further away like the TV, the internet, and magazines will have a huge effect on your outlook.
To be able to stay positive it is essential to have influences in your life that support you and lift you up instead of dragging you down.
So carefully consider what you let into your mind.
You can, for example, ask yourself:
- Who are the 3 most negative people I spend time with?
- What are the 3 of the most negative sources of information I spend time on?
Consider the answers. Then think about how you can start spending less time with one of those people or information sources this week.
And how you can spend more of the time you have now freed up with one of the most positive sources or people in your life.
Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.
It’s very easy to lose perspective, especially if you are stressed and you are going too fast. See my next idea to help with this
And so a molehill can become a major mountain pass to have to negotiate.
A simple three step way to handle these situations so they don’t get out of hand is to:
In your mind, shout “STOP!” as soon as thoughts of this kind starts to spin in your head. If necessary sit on your hands, close your computer, go for a walk. Do whatever you need to to stop your mind spinning out of control
After you have disrupted the thoughts by shouting stop sit down and just be still. Take a few deep breaths this will helo slow your heartbeat
Get your thoughts together
Seek advice from someone close. My poor wife is so used to me using her she can see me coming and asks me if we should be going for a walk. A new or more grounded perspective on the situation by just venting or by getting his or her input. If there is no one around send your self an email write a note and ask yourself will it matter in 5 years, 5 months, 5 weeks, 5 days. I think you get my point. Nothing is really as bad as it seems.
I have found that when I go too fast, when I try to think, talk, eat and move around in my world really quickly then things don’t go too well. We all know what happens emails get sent, posts are made, phone calls are held, regrets follow. A feeling that personal power is lost to the situation and negative thoughts increase.
Breathe, take 10 deep breathes, take a stroll not a power walk, slow down the typing, the walking, your speaking. These can help calm your body and your mind follows. It becomes easier to think things through clearly again and easier to find an optimistic and constructive perspective.
Do Something Kind for Others
What you send out you tend to get back from the world and the people in it. Not from everyone and not every time. What you send matters.
What you give them and how you treat them is what you’ll get back. And they way you treat others and how you think of them also tend to have a big effect on how you treat and think about yourself.
So give value and spread the positivity by for example:
I was asked by a friend to help him move, once again he was moving to a new house share. I was heading overseas but could find a short 3-hour window. So I went and helped him for that time, unfortunately, he was not finished but I had a flight to catch. While I felt bad about not helping him finish I was still some help.
Men are not good at this we want to jump in with a solution. Time to learn from the better half. Sometimes people don’t want any direct help. They just want someone to be there fully and listening as they vent for a little while.
Boosting the mood.
Smile. Give hugs, be careful here. Play uplifting music when hanging out with a friend or suggest an inspiring movie for your movie night. Being positive can mean your own positive approach can encourage someone when they have a bad day or are going through a tough time.
Look After Yourself
This is very obvious of course. We all know the big impact a good night’s sleep or good workout can have when our thoughts are pessimistic and we have a lot of tensions on the inside. A good workout on the punching bag can really do wonders.
Eat well! Not just junk but prepare good foods that will fuel your day. It is much easier to think clearly and optimistically when we are well-fueled
Feed the Mind! I know this sounds a little corny but a healthy mind depends on healthy input. Talk to positive people, read positive material, learn a new skill, make a new friend.
Yes, we have heard this all before. They say a Cliche is a Cliche because it’s true
Stay in the present
We can only control the now! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to come. When you spend your time in the present moment then it becomes so much easier to access positive emotions and to stay practical about what you can actually do about something in your life.
When you get lost in the past or future like so many of us have failures and mistakes from the past being replayed over and over in your mind drag you down, worrying about what might be, drag us down. Stay in the moment and know that what you are doing will make a positive impact.
If someone or something gets into your head
This is normal. Firstly do not dwell on it. Move on if you can. If you are having trouble moving on then try these things.
Talk it over with someone, vent, write yourself an email outlining why this is not healthy. This may help you find a healthier view.
Improve your self-esteem. With a stronger sense of self-worth, negativity is less likely to drag me down and bounces off me so much easier.
There are more steps if you would like a full list then just email me and I will send you a copy. firstname.lastname@example.org